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Friday, January 10, 2014

(F)ather (A)nd (M)other (I) (L)ove (Y)ou

You too, Mei Mei. And let's never forget my amazing Popo as well.

I don't know how anyone else would define the concept of love, or maybe I do. I know what it is they say about finding your soulmate or life partner, whichever way you want to put it and having the grand opportunity to spend the rest of your life with him or her. This message has been advocated over and over, millions of times now and again. Find someone special and you find love. Embrace the ecstasy, get comfortable, fight over a million incompatibilities and see if the entirety of this endeavor has been worth anything at all. But really, I refuse to believe that it is the only basis of love that deserves recognition.

To put my stance forward, love to me is the lengths anyone would go to put the other person first before themselves. If I recall accurately of my studies in interpersonal communication, this sort of love is known to be agape love. It's described as this godlike love, unachievable by human standards and immeasurable to the great sacrifices made by the enlightened and the divine. Yet, I refuse to believe that it cannot be fathomed by humanity nor do I condone any explicable or inexplicable reason anyone should give in order not to attempt its achievement. Perhaps my faith has risen to greater heights and many more cannot fathom let alone accept my stand, as I say this out of a recently birthed perspective.

And this, unconditional, sacrificial love, is the one I speak of when I refer to my family. It may seem inadequate for someone like me to preach something I have failed to practice for the past eighteen years of my life, but I do know what I am talking about. Having chased after the allure of romantic relationships and the seemingly blissful prospect of receiving attention from a member of the opposite sex years before this, I am very likely speaking the truth of my enlightenment on the subject as I carefully craft this paragraph. I have recently begun to question how far a distance I would go to put my family first before me and in this, to obey the Heavenly Father. I have imagined the worst misfortune that I feel could ever befall upon my family, and asked myself what I would do if such a situation occurred. I have even made mental deductions to the probabilities of their occurring and have somewhat mentally begun to arm myself so as to ward of the pains of the unexpected. I won't deny on this one, it's paranoia alright.

But I know that this is not the way. This is what manifests when I rely upon my own strength. This is what occurs when I choose to dwell on the negative than the positive. God never intended for anyone to live in despair upon encountering fears as He says in 2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

So you see it there, my dear readers. Of power and love and self-control. I'm currently working on the last bit of that phrase, but that's another story. My point is, love. God gave us a spirit of love. He also clearly states in Romans 8:28 this - "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." God has been gracious to me, and merciful. He has shown me so much in the course of almost a year, and I am so grateful that He has. I've had to endure many spiritual hardships, many of those I sometimes do not see other believers undertaking. Perhaps it is my ignorance, or simply, my test to undertake. But I pull through on a number of occasions, and I know that it was through Him, not me.

Anyway, back to love, guys. So what of it do I find so enlightening that it has led to this recorded train of thought? Well, in 1 John 4:18 it says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." And that's that. Love destroys all fear. Someday I may have to make that sacrifice for my family. I may have to give up on some of my own dreams, such as that of going to the States, of giving a TED talk in California and even possibly the winning of a Nobel Prize. But what is all this if I don't have family? What will I make of life without the love and care of my most faithful supporters in this endurance race of making salvation worthwhile and pursuing godliness? Who can I share my joy with if not the very people who have worked so hard, who have prayed so eagerly and loved Him so faithfully all in accompaniment to my achievement of success?

And so I will, when I have to. I may have to give up everything someday because of love. But when I do, I will commit everything to Him, FEARLESSLY and UNCONDITIONALLY.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Throwback

In retrospect, 2013 has been a fruitful and eventful year altogether.

In summary, last year I got to:

1. Interview Dia Frampton in person


2. Step into university life


MATH171. I still loathe calculus!


COMM101


ENGL101 field trip


The Uninvited bunch after Meei Jin's theater performance


The CHEM101 bunch


Obligatory post-IPC final poster group photo

3. Confirm the attainment of my scholarship with pretty kick ass SPM results (and later work to kill these dreadful working hours)

4. Join CF






5. Pass my driving test at the third attempt without bribery


6. Drive my own car


7. Visit Singapore again after 4 years and restore connections with relatives there





8. Attend prom yet again



Nick's a real stud heh



9. Take on a post as secretary in CF


CF Committee '13/14

10. Meet Jason Chen and Clara C


11. Turn eighteen with a shower of love


La familia @ Uth


 And The Uninvited (BO JIO) bunch!

12. Obtain an official PAYING part time job as a copywriter

13. Meet Darren Ashley
14. Reestablish my presence in cell and in Alpha (albeit briefly)



15. Finally study the subject of psychology



16. Join 2 sports houses, and take part in a student organized Amazing Race


MASH


Kryptoknights!

17. Say goodbye to whom farewells are due


Kah Haw's


Shad's




3M - Miao Zii, Meei Jin and Mickey's

18. Get into an accident (obviously unintended)


19. Pay Sunway Lagoon a visit again after 12 years







Free tickets thanks to our dear mei mei!

20. Attend my first ever caroling session


21. Attend the inaugural Leader's Retreat

22. End 2013 at a watch night service with my leadership familia (it will be my last before I leave to the States)

... and etcetera.

Throughout the whole of last year, I've seen God bless me with the ability to retain a rather excellent CGPA, find favor with most of my lecturers and find great friends in a setting that was truly novel to me. On a less positive note, I made a rash decision to enter into a relationship at the beginning of the year as a result of the whimsicality of all these novel notions, but upon God's call for me to return to Him, I abruptly then called an end to the relationship on the basis of obedience. I also found conflict with some of my peers and doubted the friendships I was forming with them because they didn't seem to be my "type", but soon found that "types" were a manifestation of a narrow minded mindset and began to open up to people of different interests and of different preferred language in speech. God also reminded me that when it comes to people who delve in an ocean of sins, I must learn to love the sinner and hate the sin. I've come to understand that love does institute change in people, for in 1 Peter 4:8 it says, "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

Almost unknown to me, this year I was also able to honor God in various areas of my life - most of which I was unaware of due to my constant focus on the negative that I had engaged in rather than the positive. For one, I was able to make a conscious decision to honor my father and mother in multiple occasions. I heeded their call to return home early when I had to leave at night, and to call if I could not make it back in time. I had to forgo a couple of events I really wanted to attend out of my obedience to my parents, and had a number of rows with them on the account of their limitation of my freedom. However, during the retreat a couple of days ago, God spoke through my elder leaders that He acknowledged my effort, that He never once forgot the good I did in spite of the numerous horrible decisions I've made over the course of this year. And truly, it is encouraging to hear it from the Lord Himself and I will strive to honor my parents more and more each day.

With relation to honoring my parents, I've found that God has restored my relationship with both my parents, especially my father. Since my uncle's death, he's come to realize that the pursuit of fortune is a superficial and meaningless one, for even my uncle who worked so hard to sustain his family of one, ended up passing on before his time came. I truly thank God that he's finally come around to become a real dad, and I'm doing my very best to be a great daughter as well. I can earnestly witness what God has for my family - the things that have appeared to be a nuisance in the beginning have come to manifest itself as a blessing in disguise, all according to God's perfect plan. It really is AMAZING. Other than that, God has also shown me that the trials I have undertaken have had a great purpose. Being able to share my testimonies after overcoming the obstacles I have had in my life with other who are in the same rut and knowing that they've been encouraged by the words I've said certainly brings me great joy.

In summary, all that, was 2013. But I think the question on all our minds right now is, what's to come in 2014?




I hope this answers your question. My first ever vlog, but there will definitely be more to come.

To my dear readers who've stuck with me from the beginning until today, I thank you. Thank you for taking part in this journey with me. Whoever you may be, always know that you have my love and my endless gratitude.

Here's to a double blessed 2014!