Monday, November 12, 2012

Standing in the dark

Please, by all means, ignore my increasingly pessimistic post titles as of late. This is just another all-time low, I assure you.

So I paid a visit to the Taylor's Lakeside Campus today to find out more about the American Degree Transfer Programme and I must say it has been quite an enlightening session. I am now quite informed about the decision I am due to make as I received quite a perspicuous briefing about the course and what to expect as I undertake it. Also, I still have about a week more to think this entire endeavor through as my enrollment deadline has now been extended until next Friday.

Frankly, it has been a very emotional ordeal trying to decide and discuss things over with my parents before making this decision that could very well determine the course of my life. I can't help but to shed tears as I stumble upon the realisation that this very well means that my life as a Malaysian high school student has so to say, ended. There are of course still 6 papers left for SPM, but the fact still remains that I will be moving on eventually and I won't be returning to the environment I have become accustomed to and have come to love over time. I know I may have mentioned how despicable my school is at times and how inconsiderate some of the students can be, but now that I've grown so fond of it I can't seem to grasp the truth that it is finally time to leave this phase of life and enter into a new season of education.

Time really does fly. I know this sentence really does lack creativity and it's so stereotypical and mainstream among feeble minded and unsophisticated individuals but I've come to realise that there is truth in the saying. It is inevitable. I remember so fondly of my younger days when I was back in primary school where I longed so much to grow up and become a figure of vast significance in this world. I estimated my entrance into society was to occur at about this age and was quite excited for the event. However, in real time, I feel as if I want to take a step back - and perhaps a few more at which I will probably end up in a frenzy as I attempt to escape the absurdities of life.

It's absolutely ridiculous how my next paper is in a week's time and here I am wasting away every second trying to conjure choice vocabulary to express the atrocities of my own life without bothering to entertain my numerous unfinished SPM trial papers as a form of revision. Furthermore, I've been online for about 6 hours now and within that time frame I've managed to destroy every ounce of time I have had left earlier by reading articles about Sherlock Holmes, reblogging Sherlock posts on Tumblr and repinning food I'll probably never learn to cook on Pinterest. Other than that, all the time I had today was spent on watching Top Chef and Anthony Bourdain on TV and on a tiny portion of Add Math. What a sad, minute consolation. I deserved to be whipped for this. Gah.

Anyway, I barely studied today and I do realise that time does indeed "fly" ever so quickly. It should not be spent writing about useless descriptions over the daunting prospects of having to choose a course in college which will not benefit anyone and may even produce harm towards oneself via the offering of such pessimistic connotations so therefore I shall exit in a timely manner.


No comments:

Post a Comment