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Saturday, June 15, 2013

Clarity

It's been a pretty cray week. Crazy, I mean. Cray's just a more informal and hipster way of putting it, I suppose. Now, moving on to my speech.

First of all, I'd like to thank my parents for being so understanding and ever patient with me. Since that night (refer to THIS post), they've been a lot stricter on me, but not without reason. The media has been diligently dishing out their fair share of front-house robberies accounts, sexual assaults and rape cases, and it's only normal that my parents have their concerns. Anyhow, I still have my freedom to drive on my own when I need to commute anywhere, albeit with a curfew. I have to be home before 10PM if I go out at night, or else I would have to rely on my parents for transport or I'd simply have to refrain from going out at night for good. These arrangements clearly oppose my ideals, but hey, I'm not complaining better be safe than sorry. I love my parents, and I wouldn't want anything to befall upon me, on their expense.

Next, I'd like to offer a toast to my ever faithful companion, coffee. You, my dear comrade have not failed me in times of exhaustion and mental fatigue. Having to draw the line between two different factions of work – scholar's work and university work while retaining a relatively decent social life certainly wasn't easy. But you, you're always there whenever I need you, apparent in varying forms every time we come into contact, but there nevertheless. Whether you're dressed in the most original of flavors or complemented by a dash of chocolate that makes you mocha, you've kept me on my toes all day. And for that, I am thankful.

Last but not least, I'd like to express my gratitude to the Heavenly Father. As I'm undertaking this process of spiritual healing and understanding of how He works, in spite of my imperfections and my own faults, I've gained a whole lot more clarity in life. I still have my emotional moments, but I can now distinguish what is fact and what is fiction as well as fathom the reason behind my affliction and affection. I've come to see that everything has worked for His purpose and no matter what the outcome will be, I will trust Him. I don't always have all the answers, and I'm beginning to accept this fact with a more open demeanor. I've learned not to rely on my own egotistical and independent nature to concoct theories of why things occur as they did (although they would be appreciated in Sociology, but that's besides the point), but  to have faith. It's a process I still struggle with, but I know better now. Patience is a virtue, and I do not want to repeat the same mistake of perpetrating a rash decision and undertaking the same vicious cycle all over again.

So there, my personal troubles in a nutshell. Well, perhaps not, but I think this suffices in expressing how this entire week has been. Work, to the power of ten.

On a lighter note, I finally got to scratch one thing off the bucket list – rap in public. It didn't go as well as I'd anticipated, but I've had some rather positive responses, which is still pretty wacko to me. Who knew one of my age old silent prayers would've come into execution at an event I wasn't even enthusiastic about in the first place? God works in the most mysterious of ways, heh. Also, I finally got to try Tong Pak Fu after several millenniums. Clearly, I am exaggerating, but I'm glad I got around to sample one of their desserts as recommended by my high school peers.

I should get ready to go out to church now, so I'll have to stop here. But before that, I will leave you with the enlightenment that there is something I have to do. Something absolutely crucial, that may or may not change the course of my life's esteems.

However, I shall cease before I enter into poetic mode. Until then.

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