Sunday, October 21, 2012

Sigh no more

There is absolute reason to sigh no more - graduation. I'm finally receiving closure and bound to leave high school permanently, although I must say that I have not rid myself of that demon of an examination - SPM yet, but I believe I will overcome this and exit victoriously.

Contrary to the emotions most people are encountering presently, I'm actually quite glad to leave this phase of my life and begin anew. It's almost as if high school was no more than an obstacle I had to overcome in my quest to discover my identity, my purpose and my calling. And I think I've found it.

It's right here, in between the lines, in every alphabet, in the vocabulary - WRITING.

I honestly don't know what will occur in the future. I'm not even sure if my expectations of a better environment, better peers in the form of course mates and better experiences will be met, but I'm ready to take on what lies ahead. I'm pretty set on the notion of not succumbing to the graces of being a wallflower and becoming a more sociable being when I enter college and I will attempt to make the most of my life as a youth, and consecutively a young adult.

However, there are things I will definitely miss upon my departure. I will miss my friends. And by friends, I mean people who have stuck with me in spite of my fallibility, my flaws and my fickle nature. The people who have laughed at the jokes I crafted despite my lacking genuine sense of humour. The people who have inspired and touched my life, as well as educate me both academically and philosophically. These are memories that will never cease until the end of time.

High school has honestly been a struggle for me. From the day I first set foot into this education institution, I've had to deal with so much, particularly discrimination due to my incompetence in conversing in Chinese (which is apparently a disgrace), my plump physique and my constant mood changes. While I am now able to speak Chinese coherently when I am making a purchase at a boutique, have lost weight over the years (and gained a number of kilogrammes this year) and possess the ability to withhold my emotions, I still encounter difficulty in discovering my sense of belonging and dealing with the conflicts of the past which have somewhat managed to build some strongholds within myself.

Although I am still in the midst of being healed of the pain and rejection I have once felt, I am now stronger and can withstand tougher challenges than I have before. By God's grace, I will be able to move on and be filled with too high a spirit to be encumbered with my old nonsense.

Anyhow, I will be going on full-fledged hiatus from tomorrow until my final SPM paper - English Literature. So until then, this blog is temporarily in a coma.

Alright, ta :)

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