Since I completed my finals last Monday, I've had an early end to the summer semester and a three week break on my hands. A large part of me is pleased that I am now entitled to participate in all the activities I've been putting off since this short and frantic semester began, but I cannot say that I am entirely happy with the current arrangements. I know fairly well that I must utilize the break to it's full potential and ensure that last semester's folly does not repeat itself, but planning is easier said than done. I presently have a few ideas in my mind, but the lack of organization and required funds continuously resonates as unfeasible, much to my dismay.
I suppose I shall defuse the lack of organization by first making a list of activities I intend to immerse myself in.
Leisure :
1. Finish reading Chobsky's Perks of Being a Wallflower
2. Commence reading Mo Yan's Red Sorghum and Pamuk's The Museum of Innocence (and fingers crossed, complete it by the end of the semester break)
3. Learn to bake at least 2 items provided on the SORTED food website (I've settled for strawberry shortcake for my first culinary adventure!)
4. Watch the Gran Torino (kinda pointless since I no longer have Cross-cultural comm but oh well)
5. Watch some other movies because I haven't hit the cinema since the last semester break ended
6. Try out the Escape Room at e@Curve, someday
Travel :
1. Embark on a trip to Penang Island with a bunch of my college mates
2. Take on a day-trip food adventure in Ipoh with Nick and Dennis
3. Head down to KL for a photo walk (doesn't seem feasible though since I don't have any photography enthusiasts in my current college circle, but we'll see)
Servanthood/Work :
1. Update CF database weekly with newcomers' details
2. Check CF e-mail (gotta do this err day)
2. Check CF e-mail (gotta do this err day)
3. Attend CF during sem break
4. Get template for birthday bookmarks from Voon Ann and initiate printout
5. Help Esther out with decor at Youth Alpha on Sundays
6. Get people at Uth to join cell
7. Complete hours at the merch store for scholar's work (never ending, it seems. Sigh.)
Well, well, I've certainly got my hands full. Ah, c'est la vie.
On a lighter note, I spent my first day of freedom yesterday attending CF and engaging in conversation with a few of my college mates on campus. Pertaining to CF, I think things were a little chaotic. I asked to switch roles with Joshua who was the emcee for the day so I could put off writing the attendance (there were plenty of new faces and I couldn't keep track!) and take advantage of his late-coming, thinking it'd be an easier task. But boy, I was wrong. Although I'd written down the sequence of events on a slip of paper, I totally blanked out at the sight of the much larger crowd that day. I did carry on with the emceeing, but I think I did a pretty terrible job yesterday. I just wasn't prepared. And I solemnly vowed to never emcee at CF again. I'll probably find the courage to try it again sometime, but it won't be any soon. And to think that I was uber self-confident and all that other stuff to do with superiority complexes.
But there was a lesson learnt in the midst of all that chaos; what I did yesterday was out of my own strength, and it should have been God working through me. This literally means I gotta do my devotions and read the Word fervently!
In spite of the disaster I wreaked in emceeing, I was really encouraged by the testimonies shared by the YWAM team. There were testimonies of what God had done in their lives through YWAM and a brief sermon on evangelism by one of the YWAM-ers. It really sparked a thought in me about how simple evangelism really is in spite of our fears and inhibitions, and it reminded me that it is always the work of the Holy Spirit and never ourselves that people are brought into salvation. As of now, I'm determined to get involved in outreach — serving in Youth Alpha is part of the baby steps I'm taking in pursuit of that.
With regards to my recent social endeavors, I've been allocating a fair amount of time engaging in conversations with my college mates and youth group. I don't have much to say about the former, given that I spend a considerably large amount of time with them on campus, at food places and such. And as the saying goes — same shiznit, different day, I've begun to see a lack of purpose in engaging with them as a whole devotedly. The only other thing that draws my attention is perhaps the fact that I've not been able to fully vindicate a specific someone of their doing, and it has continued to affect personal relationships without cause. I've surrendered the cause to prayer and I'm only hoping some divine intervention will take place, as absurd as it seems to you presumably faith-lacking lot. But we'll just have to wait and see.
As for the latter, I've been feeling a little excluded and isolated lately. Some of the youths were at the gala dinner the other day, and they took a group photo together, all decked out in formal wear for the night. I was a little apprehended honestly, given that I wasn't even aware anyone had made plans to attend the gala dinner. And to think that my parents were attending as well, and they hadn't bothered to ask if I was interested to go. I guess weeks of hostility and bitterness can go a long way, if left unresolved. Lately it seems as if my parents have left me completely to my own devices, but I suppose I should be spending more time with them. They're probably afraid to initiate it anyway, so I might as well make the first move. Entering adulthood isn't that fun after all, especially when your parents take you for granted.
Whoaaa. This post escalated pretty quickly.
I'll stop here for today. Hopefully some of those items on the list above get crossed out soon, and I'll be a little more productive later on. Au revoir.
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