Friday, April 20, 2012

Work it

This weekend, I shall attempt to complete both my Sivik and Moral Kerja Amal projects, complete all the procedures for the scholarship application, finish all my overdue BM homework and study for mid terms.

As there are so many things to get done, I guess it's safe to say that I will refrain from blogging for an extended period of time due to obvious reasons. Yup, it's a real hiatus now.

Unless of course, something upsets me to the point where my only solution is to pen it all down and get it over with. Other than that, everything else is invalid.

I'm not going to dwell upon the fact that I feel I am incompetent compared to other people because I'm done trying to compare myself with others. If God created me a unique and different being, so be it. I'll let things roll in His timing on not mine. His will, not mine be done. I've got so much I want to do as I grow into the adult I sometimes wish I never will be, but ultimately, I'm surrendering every step of the way in His hands.

To ensure that I get where God wants me to be, I've agreed to attend a short session with a spiritually anointed leader and perhaps get the healing I've always needed. I'm done feeling useless, helpless and self-sympathy. No one is ever gonna make me feel like I'm not good enough anymore. I'm going to take this huge leap of faith and believe this session will change my life and help me to move on from my past hurts.

But of course, I have to do some work on my own as well. It has to be mutual.

I'm glad I'm seeing the light, although from a very deep pit in my life at the moment. I should just loosen up and let God get a grip on my life. There's no point in forcing things to come to pass, I'll just let it come and go as it should.

I'm done being a spectacle of my own insecurity. It's time for God to cleanse me from the screwed up, broken kid I used to be and restore what He meant for me.


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