College no university yes

I'm not sure if you can tell but I based the post title on TNAF's track Crazy Yes Dumb No. Well, I suppose not since they're pretty obscure and you probably don't want to be part of this hipsteria I'm still part of.

While it's only the second day of my life in university and my first day of classes for ADP at Taylor's, I'm already starting to feel exhausted. Perhaps it is the long hours of university that sources my misery or my restless mental state that is to be blamed. Or maybe it's the ungodly hours I am forced to arise in. I honestly don't think 5.40AM in the morning is a decent hour to rise and shine given that my bus isn't very punctual either and my eye bags are even more defined now. Needless to say, undertaking two days of uni life has somewhat given me some perspective regarding the contrast between my previous phase of life with the current one now.

So I'll say it. I miss high school. I miss my friends. I MISS SCHOOL. I MEAN IT.

Sure, go ahead. Tell me "I TOLD YOU SO". I'm too tired to give two hoots to anyone who says "In your face" anyway. I honestly couldn't careless.

While ADP is structured to somewhat emulate the American high school/college system, it's a totally different experience altogether. While classes aren't back to back, which makes it convenient if there are group projects or assignments to be completed during breaks, the fact that I have different classmates in every class makes it really difficult for me to form long lasting bonds with anyone. I won't say I have no friends at all, because that's untrue. But I will say that so far I have only been in contact with three of them regularly since orientation, which of course, was yesterday. Everyone else seems to have gone as quickly as they introduced themselves.

Anyhow, I know it is a little too early to determine anything so I won't make my conclusions now. Most of the people I've met so far have been courteous and rather spontaneous as well, but I haven't found a soul that I could potentially relate with to the extent of being soul mates. Of course, I already have one in church but I do think it would be nice to meet someone who values acrolect speech, intellect and eloquence as much as I do and has similar interests. I have met some pretty decent people in these two days but I haven't quite found anyone with the likes of my original high school bunch. I know in my heart that my upper sec buddies are irreplaceable and this simply makes the whole situation at the moment even more unbearable.

Guys, if you ever read this, I want you all to know that I love all of you very much and there is no one else in this world that can come close or completely replace any of you. EVER.

Other than the atrocities of bonding with other fellow ADP-ians, I've also come to realise that I have to adopt a very independent mindset in uni. I'm expected to know everything by checking the Student Portal, contacting my lecturers, checking with the office, asking lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots (I am not exaggerating, I KID YOU NOT) of questions as well as through conversing with other students. There is no such thing as having the right to remain silent because speaking up counts as participation and participation equals good CGPA. So far I've not just come across ADP students but foundation students as well, since they make up the majority of the faculty. I've even bumped into some of my secondary school peers while taking strolls around the campus during lunch, although I have absolutely no intention to reunite with them, for personal reasons.

While I have been a little slow in the social department, I have to say I'm pretty fortunate I didn't have to eat lunch alone. For almost the entire day I was on campus, I spent most of my time with these two guys when it came to non-academic related activities. And by doing so, I even got to know other people from the foundation programs, which I reckon is a good thing. However, I'm going to try forming friendships with some girls as well because I honestly don't want to be too dependent on certain individuals like I used to in most of my school years and ultimately because I don't want to come off as stereotypical in a certain sense. Like all the ADP lecturers say, it is good to have a balance whether in academics, ECAs and life in general. And therefore, I will take heed and prove myself worthy.

So there, my thoughts on my first two days of university.

Now, I must catch up on sleep. Goodnight.