I honestly don't know how to begin. At this moment, I have absolutely no idea how to say the things I've been wanting to say, how to pen down my deepest of thoughts or even how to express what I've been feeling over the weekend. It seems to me as if my ability to write has somewhat vanished overnight. Sure, I may be constructing sentences right now, but I'm merely producing this post out of intellectual obligation. I'm not crafting my blog post, as I usually do. Anyhow, I will still continue to write and hope that my muse will somehow return as I go along.
So, rewired? Honestly, it's not a word I think anyone extremely eloquent would title their blog posts, but as I am currently lost for words, I consider it a succinct word to describe my recent undertakings. I would earnestly choose to leave this page and resume whatever I was doing prior to this, but I felt that these happenings were somewhat too spiritually historical to leave behind. Therefore, regardless of what it will take, I must give an account of my day yesterday and perhaps even of today, be it as brief or as lengthy as possible.
Yesterday was the first Uth Leaders meeting of the year. While I arrived late (it wasn't my fault this time, my mum was running late!) and felt incredibly awkward sitting in a circle with the rest of the leaders especially since I haven't been present for most meetings last year, I must say that the outcome of yesterday's meet will result in a major paradigm shift for the youth group. Even the first youth service of the year today was such an eye-opener for me. Instead of being typically briefed on the vision of the church and the general responsibilities being a leader, we were given insight on what it meant to take up leadership and serve in the ministry real time.
I cannot deny that it was probably the best leaders meeting I have ever attended in the entire course of being part of the youth leadership. Unlike 2012 where every leader performed general tasks in the ministry, the focus for 2013 was really to assign everyone to their specific roles as well as educate them on their respective authority and function as the older leaders are beginning to assume their roles in another ministry. There's definitely more attention to detail than there was last year and it's great to know that God is pioneering change in our youth group.
As of now, I'm officially the new head of multimedia in the creative works department. Honestly, I was initially a little skeptical towards this sudden revelation. I didn't think I was up to it since I don't even know how to use Photoshop and while learning to deal with equipment and all that amazing technology in church may not be astrophysics, it will take time to adjust to my new responsibilities since I'm not particularly fond of whatever it is I'm supposed to do.
But then I realised how relevant this new undertaking is to this year's theme - Realigning for reassigning. God's thinking about aligning me in order to assign me into wherever it is I'm supposed to be. His plan and His purpose is slowly coming into the light, and that's really amazing. Now not only do I have an idea of what my calling is career-wise, I actually have a glimpse of what God is using me for in the ministry! I am really psyched for all that is to come this year and I know that while media is not one of my strongest points, in my weakness - GOD IS STRONG. And that's all I will have to dwell upon in order for motivation.
I'm totally aware that things aren't going to be easy this year. In fact, I think it may turn out to be more difficult than last year. But this is a step I have to take, if I want to become a better person. If I want to have a close relationship with God. If I want to fulfill God's destiny for me. I need to let God call the shots when it comes to molding me into becoming who God has intended for me to be. I've tried time and time again with my own strength to convince myself that all I need is self-confidence and hard work, but now I see that it is by God's grace that I receive all that I have. I just have to do what I have to do, and let God do what God needs to do. I refuse to play God anymore. It's His job, so I'll let Him do what He does best!
It's amazing how my relationship with God has been reinstated after almost a year of spiritual neglect. I find truth in the most unexpected of places and it has been really enlightening.
So yeah, I've been rewired. Not to the things of this world, but to God. It's an amazing feeling. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the year, especially the start of college. Most of my peers are actually having their orientation tomorrow and it somewhat bugs me that I'm still at home, rotting inevitably. Furthermore, the rest of my peers will be starting college on the 14th and 15th next week, which leaves me another week to rot in utter solitude. I just hope cell and the meetings that are yet to be called to organize the multimedia department will somewhat render me ensconced in something productive.
About time I hit the sack. It has been a pleasure. Goodnight.