I need fixing

I desperately am in need of a little fixing. Perhaps a little more than little. Okay, I do need to be fixed urgently and in tremendous proportions.

Hello. It feels odd to be back on this blog again, ranting away about how I feel. I'm not too sure about what I feel now actually. My John Clare moment has somewhat subsided, but I haven't quite achieve euphoria either. So I guess I can say I'm currently indifferent. Indifferent, by the way - not ignorant.

Well, I guess I should begin by commenting on how disappointed I was at my English trial results. Now that I'm pondering upon this, I believe I still am disappointed except that I'm not resorting to a string of common profanities to ease my disappointment and bark at people whom I previously thought could do no more than utter one word to arouse laughter over their ridiculous application of vocabulary in speech. I must seem arrogant stating such things, don't I?

Perhaps it was overconfidence on my part. Or should I be blaming the education system (as if I haven't played that card before)? Perhaps I should find fault with The Star Newspaper instead. I did, after all refer to their tips of writing a good summary and attempting English comprehension.

I know there's no point in trying to discover the myriad of possibilities that could have led to my failure since the trials are over and they have been for a very long time, for that matter. But this matter somewhat remains an indignant denizen of my mind.

My essays weren't up to par. My comprehension was utter crap. A classmate of mine who wrote one word for her comprehension received marks for her answer while I, who took extra time and attention to write a grammatically adept sentence, failed to receive a point. I honestly don't know if it is I, who lack competence or is it the government as usual, to be put at fault. However, I don't see a reason for playing that card because the standard of English in Malaysia is very low and having failed to do well for such a redundant and absolutely bogus paper makes me feel like an idiot myself.

Well, complaining doesn't fix any of it. But I digress.

On a different note, I think I'm getting more fit now that I'm dancing regularly. My classmates decided on dancing to Korean pop for our class graduation performance and I must say, I have acquired respect for K-pop artists who dance in their music videos. It is definitely not an easy thing to attempt let alone execute with utter perfection. I have only attended two practices so far which last for about 2 to 3 hours every day and I already find difficulty to walk downstairs. My legs somewhat wobble when I attempt to walk and I feel even older than my grandmother. I think I might also say that I now know the extent of the pain she undergoes on her legs when she walks. And I'm actually so tired that I've decided not to argue with anyone who wants to refute my statement.

Anyhow, I'll be attending school tomorrow to do more dancing in spite of my lower body aches so I do hope I don't overdo it and hurt myself even more. Furthermore, I'll be walking to Centrepoint tomorrow to audition for my prom performance. I'll be singing while accompanied by the piano, which will be played by my friend, Kah Yan. I'm quite anxious because my voice is somewhat failing to reach high notes at such an urgent moment and there's going to be a lot of competition due to the immense number of people who are singing for their audition tomorrow. I can only hope for the best and pray that things will turn out fine. I just hope I won't embarrass myself by screwing up my pitching at the last minute. Okay, let's not take a turn onto that direction, shall we?

So yes. That is my week for you. I have quite a number of photos I would like to upload but since it is such a time consuming process I can only wait until most of my activities are over to do so.

Have patience, non-existent readers. And myself, as well. Tata.