New eyes

It's not going to be easy.

Things have changed in the last five months. Being away from home and learning in a new environment has altered my perspective in many ways. It's true indefinitely with regards to how I see the world, but more importantly, it has prepared me to see what the reality of a life in Christ is like - and pursue it.

1. Attending a Southern Baptist church

While I still can't say I'll continue to attend this church for the next two years of college, I do acknowledge that the church I've been going to in Texas is good and I'm willing to give the community a shot, as well as plant myself there and hopefully, make some disciples! I've been to several churches, but I do believe that this church is the most balanced out of them all.

The teachings are biblically sound (that's really most important) and are always juxtaposed with the current times to edify the congregation. Sunday school is for all ages, meaning that we all get to learn about the Bible and life through the word of God. There are some things that I still need to get used to, like the repetitive songs sung during worship and the structure of the service, but really, I know what the priorities of a believer should be in church and I think this church meets the mark for it.

It's not perfect and to be fair, I could use a hand in getting connected with the community, but I think if I just give it some time and make it a point to attend life group, it'll work out. It is by His grace and not my own strength after all that I live by and He holds everything in His hands.

2. Studying the New Testament academically

This was truly the highlight of my semester - just being able to spend 3 hours each week learning about the texts within the New Testament and on how to read it. For most evangelicals, or at least Southern Baptists, studying the bible is an integral part of following Christ. Throughout my course, I learned that to read and study the Bible correctly meant to engage in exegesis. Exegesis, which derived from Greek means "to lead out", is a critical explanation or interpretation of a religious text. We read the text, derive meaning from the text and learn from it.

I learned many things among which are (1) to take the whole text seriously and not just isolated parts, (2) to understand the historical context in order to fathom what the text is saying and how it should be interpreted and (3) to take the theology seriously, by observing the claims the author makes about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit within the text. I also learned about how the New Testament was developed, which ties in with how the entire Bible (both Old and New) became what it is today. While it's sounds and is a lot more complicated than we imagine, learning these things made me realize that Christianity is centered around Jesus and the gospels more than I thought.

Also, it really is humbling when you realize that the pictures of Jesus offered in the four gospels provide a broader perspective on Jesus than we tend to see; but at the same time, that this is but a glimpse of him - and we won't truly know until we enter heaven and know Christ for who he truly is.

Yet, knowing these truths was a weighty thing. When I realized that the exegetical approach was the right way to read scripture and NOT eisegesis, which means to "import" or "draw in" one's own purely subjective interpretations into the text, which are unsupported by the text itself (Wikipedia), it changed how I saw sermons. In other words, knowing the Bible is not about enthusiastically reciting a bunch of famous bible verses or quotes, or even copying a bunch of bible verses that were clearly Googled online and pasting them onto parts of the sermon where they "appeared" to make sense or prove a personal (and probably not godly) point. It is about learning from the text, which God had inspired people to write, in order that we are a church are guided and edified so we may glorify God and not ourselves.

And this is why I say, it's not going to be easy.

What I was taught about Christ and Christianity through the church I attended and these academic bible studies really drove home the point that Christ is revealed through the Bible. This really varies from how things are in my home church where the emphasis was on "spiritual experiences" and musical worship. Oh and um, spiritual gifts? Glossolalia, that's what (that's speaking in tongues, if you haven't figured that out yet). What we address as teachings of the Bible are basically sermons that were basically held as authoritative and from God simply because there were a bunch of scriptures placed here and there. Whenever I questioned the understanding of these verses and asked about the context, the replies always went along the lines of "It's guidance from the Holy Spirit" or "It's all about the heart." And yet, they dare say, "The heart is deceitful." And our youth pastor is pretty much left unchallenged through the exertion of supposed God-sanctioned superiority - not because what He said was actually were biblical.

I attended church for the first time since I returned to Malaysia last Sunday. A youth leader I was well acquainted with shared on forgiveness. Although I could see the direction he was going in and the points he was trying to make, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that this "sermon" was allowed to be preached. He basically placed a bunch of anecdotes about forgiveness as his points, and then employed the Bible as a trump card to nail those points down. Surely enough, the verse about the 77 times we are supposed to forgive came up (Matt. 18:21-35), and some references about the sermon on the mount.

But that isn't taking the Bible seriously. Where is the part where Jesus talks about dealing with a brother or sister who sins by rebuking them privately and if they do not listen by addressing it with other siblings in Christ or further, even with the church (Matt. 18:15-17)? Why is there no addressing of this part of the text? And also, regarding verse 19 - where if two on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by the Father in heaven, or where the two or three gather, there Jesus is with them - it is to be taken with the context of addressing sin amongst Christian brethren. This is probably one of the most misquoted verses, but exists within the context. When Peter asks about how many times he must forgive, it ties in with the previous parts of the passage. We need to see it in its context.

Furthermore, forgiveness is not just about us. Many of the points the leader made related to how unforgiveness hurts us, and others. It was emphasized on people. But in the end, everything that is preached needs to tie in with what God made Christ do for us undeserving people. Even that in itself is another great and grand story of its own that carries weight and can only be expounded by the Bible, when studied properly.

So in the end, when we were told to give him a hand, I couldn't. I couldn't pretend anymore. I couldn't lie any longer.

I know that there is a lack of manpower in terms of equipping the youth with biblical teachings and sound doctrine. But that doesn't mean we should proceed without a care. I've mentioned countless times to a close youth leader friend of mine about the importance of scripture, but many times I was simply dismissed as a Zealot, to say the least.

But the issue exists. And something ought to be done.

It's not going to be easy. Firstly, I know I don't have the power to change the world. And it's not about me at the end of the day. It's about what glorifies God. And taking His word for granted and misusing it DOES NOT glorify Him AT ALL. Secondly, its going to be difficult to talk about these things, and I am aware of the notion that I will be ostracized for speaking the truth. People won't see me as the same before, because I disagree. I may lose friends over this, friends I've always thought I spent so much time building relationships with, when in reality, I don't even know, truly. It's going to be difficult, because all this while I've valued so much the acceptance of people that I have forgotten to speak the truth, to be honest. I have made the people at church an idol. I have made church an idol. And now I am learning to be real, and I am aware that I risk not being liked.

But that is nothing to me anymore, if it means the pursuit of Christ.

So I will share. I will talk about these things openly, and with tact. I will allow the Holy Spirit to be the advocate Christ promised us, and pray that he will speak and minister to all of us. Yet, I am not passive. I will continue to stand up for Him through the advocacy of His word to others. I will continue to hold myself accountable to siblings in Christ I can trust, and learn as much as I can. I will continue to devote everything to ensure that it is for His glory, and remember who I am in Him.

So it won't be easy. But it's worth a chance, for a God who gave us undeserving people a chance through His one and only son, despite our own folly.

This whole grace stuff is insane.