Wretched man I am

It's uncanny how in one second I could totally alright, knowing full well the facts laid out from the gospel, that I am saved not by my own works but by God's work through Christ, knowing that nothing can come into fruition apart from the Father's will, and YET, still fail to trust Him and believe in that truth.

It stings to know that anything good can so easily become idolatry, that sin is constantly crouching at our door, and many a time we let it slip past us and get inside our little heads and all of a sudden we're thrust on the ground yet again, despite having been preached to about the truth.

I can totally see why Paul said, "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" After all, "For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing."

But hey, the great news proceeds from there. "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Yet again I'm proven wrong and shown how wretched I truly am, but still under the grace of God.

Seriously though, how is this even possible? Why would God go through all that trouble and total His perfect unity for a bit just so He could pay the very debt we owe Him, Himself? It would be possible to just hit game over and restart everything, but He doesn't. God lets his righteousness be shown by means of grace, and takes it upon Himself to do this for us. The very act of sending Christ to us is His display of love. That's insane.

Seriously, how is there still other ways to live apart from in reverence and submission to His Lordship? Yet God comprehends what I cannot.

And it's insane that I can see that, I can know that, and yet, I often find myself having unbelief.

Yet praise be to God, because even in my wretchedness He is seen faithful and righteous. That He draws people unto Himself and man, does that glorify Himself.

Christianity is crazy stuff man. We got some kickass Creator guys, whether ya'll acknowledge Him or not.