Freedom is elusive

There are times where I am tempted to give up on this faith, and succumb to temptation once and for all. "This is too difficult," I reason. "I am not improving anyway. I might as well be free."

But selling out on Christ does not mean freedom. It means chains - a mere transfer of bondage to righteousness, to sin.

And it doesn't stop there. The more we feed ourselves, our own selfish desires - the worse we become. One day it will all culminate into this utter monstrosity, and at that point there will be no return.

And while such burn in hell, they are not to be pitied - in affliction, they will curse God.

I am grateful for the hope that is in Christ; for I have been grafted into God's family by grace through faith - I, a wretched sinner.

Break it off 2.0

You gotta nip idolatry in the bud.

Humans were not simply made to worship, and at some point, they either worship God or themselves.

Human were born worshipping, and when they are not worshipping God, they are worshipping themselves.

There is simply no point of neutrality where we can say we have yet to make that choice. If you aren't filled with the Holy Spirit, you are not empty - you are bound to unrighteousness, you are a slave to sin and you pledge allegiance to Satan, and not God.

This is something I constantly need to remember, to be careful about by being accountable to people and fleeing from temptation, by choosing not to put myself in situations where our morals will be compromised.

We are not stronger than we think. We cannot be so arrogant as to say we have it down and we ain't need no help. We're just wretched sinners rescued by a gracious God - a God who's not one to stick a band aid at some trivial wound, but a God who brings forth life from dead bones.

And if our God can do so much as to be both just and the justifier of us who have transgressed against Him through the gift and work of Christ, how can we still live not in accordance to that truth, that reality that should permeate our every thought, our every being?

This was a real wake up call.

Complacency. I self-handicap for the things I don't know to do, but once I get the hang of it, I take credit for what is done on account of God's mercy. And then I get comfortable, thinking I got this, I can make it, I don't need no education from on high, when I'm seriously setting myself up for stupidity and failure.

And then I fall. I beat myself up, I blame myself, I wonder why I don't ever learn.

And Christ calls me and reminds me whom I serve, and in whom my satisfaction is. It should be Him, except it's not, and so we gotta call out to Him again and trust in His word and His promises.

I feel, felt, like a failure. I made promises I couldn't keep. I trusted in myself, in my emotions, not in my thoughts, not in the Word, and not with discernment through the Holy Spirit - only myself. And I've dished out heartbreak because of my insolence, because I don't put my king first, because I worshipped creation instead of the creator.

I preferred the high that comes from man's empty praise, than His Highness.

Oh wretched man I am, whom will save me from this body of death?

Thanks be to God for Christ Jesus.

And so I turn around, don't look back, keep my eyes on the Cross and move on.

I am grateful. Grateful for family, who can knock sense into me by God's grace. Grateful for friends who rebuke me as they should and speak the truth at the risk of rejection, knowing that God above man is the prime principle. Grateful that the Holy Spirit hasn't failed, that God keeps His promises and continues to convict me of sin and lead me to the path of sanctification that succeeds regeneration.

After all, the mark of a Christian is not sinning less; but repenting more.